Evolving Beliefs and Lives

Gobetween, a character in Ancestral Airs, is a time traveler with a consuming appetite to know her tribe and learn the Old Way. Her hunger doesn’t go unnoticed either; Gobetween’s ancestors haunt her dreams. But long before she could to enter their world, she had to change. Her life and her beliefs would have to evolve. The following passage speaks of that needed change and the man who had choreographed her dreams, ultimately reshaping her life into something from which she could not return.

“Repatriation required that I abandon all that had trapped me in a world which would have preferred to relinquish me like an irreparably broken thing. Before I could appreciate Moondog’s need to embrace me I had to cut the bonds that prevented me from reaching back to him. Once severed, my plunge was cataclysmic, unstoppable, and accelerated until I exploded into antiquity.
He stripped me of everything from the pain of my childhood and the trivialization of my gender to the absurd oxymoron deviant sex. Moondog showed me the essence of divinity that lights each of our paths beyond the reach of disenchantment and unforgivable sin. In his sphere there was no judgment and therefore no need for approval. Every individual was valued beyond measure; the mere fact that one existed was purpose enough to fill a lifetime.”

Each of us in our own unique way embarks on the epic journey of our life and it is hard. Forget the quick fix notion, there isn’t one. We never “arrive”, not if we are lucky. There are no books, no workshops, no retreats, and no geniuses out there that can make our lives easier, our journeys shorter, or make us wise before our time. We can see Gobetween’s struggle, we know in our hearts that it will be long and painful, just like our own struggle. She isn’t a Gucci Shaman Woman. She is a typical person living a life typically stacked against her, just like the rest of us. But she has one thing going for her, her ability to cultivate the spirit of perseverance. Gobetween is a scrapper; determined; a spiritual warrior; and she pushes just hard enough to journey back through history and know her own people.

“They are poised in silence at the apex of our cycle having stepped out of the ice thousands of years before their own lives. It would never be the same again. And I thousands of years later at the end of an era am tired, homesick and anxious for rebirth into the old way. The Greihound declare me sufficiently savage, reclaiming me as one of their own.
I remember the echoes of whispered prayers and the purging pitch of songs that conceal the pain of the lives spent here for the spirit. I salivate to those cries knowing the ambrosia in which it is enfolded. Their blood holds a decadent sweetness; I languish in the spell. I know that I sleep with my clan tonight and have every night since the moment of Creation.”

Gobetween had indeed changed.

Eventually, we finally reach the age when we realize “the mere fact that one existed was purpose enough to fill a lifetime.” Life flows first from a trickle that becomes a river that makes its way to an ocean. That is how our beliefs and lives evolve. And no matter how old or young we are we reflect on our lives and see exactly how we have grown and changed. Life is an endless cycle of peaks, valleys, and plateaus. When times are tough we look at the heights and wonder how we had managed to get there. Had we ‘fallen from grace’? What could we have done to stay there? And we learn. We land on plateaus and for a while we are content to cruise, up until that moment when boredom gets the best of us. So we wait, impatiently, but we wait. And sure enough a peak or a valley emerges. Some say life is a circle; I say life is a sphere.  You can never un-know something and every gem of knowledge impacts on all the others. The sphere grows exponentially. Our lives and our beliefs evolve. Would you have it any other way?

Please note that some of the essays in Sacred First Foods provide an elementary glimpse of our long evolution as a species. And while we most often prefer the esoteric view of life, understanding our evolution biologically shows us how we became the esoteric species we are today.




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Responses to “Evolving Beliefs and Lives”

  1. Angela Cheetham Wilkinson July 17th, 2013 - 9:42 pm

    The second paragraph shows the author’s passion with which I’ve become familiar -”Ah yes” I say to myself “time to be swept and grasped in a way that is never relinquished.” At such times, indeed even if the author didn’t tell me so, I would know that this embrace had changed the one whose dreams were choreographed for ever.
    I like GoBetween. She’s a character I think the reader can relate to – she is us – the ones on the outside who are unable to resist some strange passion with a door that’s ajar for us.

    • I like her too; poor old dear that she is. While she lives her life in fear she is at once compelled by that spirit of daring. It never seems to leave her. She loves above all else pioneering lost realms. Thank you, Angela.

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